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Alex Lenox

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The Dip

Today I had planned on writing my 7th article, but life got in the way.

Personal and professional obligations began to pile up along with a nagging sense of exhaustion and zapped willpower. This week has been rewarding and downright draining.

Yet, I persisted. Even though I am not writing about the original topic I had slated for today I am still here and I am still writing.

That was the plan all along wasn’t it? To write something everyday.

This post will be unique in that I typed it free form. I will do little to no editing other than a final read through. It will be the shortest and no keyword research will be done. I likely will do nothing more than post it.

I titled this post the Dip after Seth Godin’s book. The book is about when to stick and when to quit. Ironically, I never finished it.

Yet, maybe the message stuck. Here I am tonight thinking about it. Thinking about hanging it up. To quit yet another thing I said I would do. It’s painful to continue on. But I think it would be more painful to let myself down again.

Rather than giving up entirely I think I am going to shake things up. To avoid burnout and get some semblance of a sleep schedule and workout routine back I am going to switch to publishing twice a week.

Right now, Thursday’s and Sunday’s sound like a good plan. I have Mon-Thurs to write something for Thursday. Then I can relax a bit Friday and jump into writing something over the weekend when I have more time to publish on Sunday.

This also frees up time to for paid writing gigs and I think I will put out better quality work that I will be more proud of.

I’ll leave you with a new song I discovered by a wonderful artist, Tycho.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Goodnight.

Alex

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The One Thing Book Review

I have an affinity for reading and watching movies. However, I find myself much more able to recall visual elements and movie quotes then I do recalling what I have learned from books. With that in mind I am setting out to read a lot more in 2018, so I thought I would get a jump start in 2017 by reading 3 books in December. One is short, one is pretty average (The One Thing) and, the last one is really long.

I decided that in order to increase retention I would do two things:

  1. Before I start reading a book, I place a notecard in each chapter and proceed to take notes after reading each chapter
  2. Write a book review of every book I read that month

The Focus Question

If you take nothing away from the book this is it:

What’s the One Thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

That simple question asked every day can have a profound impact on your productivity.

The focus question encompasses the macro and the micro:

What’s the One Thing you can do this year such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

[break that down further]

What’s the One Thing you can do this month such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

[break that down further]

What’s the One Thing you can do this week such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

[break that down further]

What’s the One Thing you can do today such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

As you can see if you start with the macro you can easily work your way to the micro. Figuring out your One Thing for the year can help you figure out what progress you can make this month, this week, and finally today.

To stay on track I have started using Momentum Dash in Chrome each day as a result of reading this book. It asks you your focus each morning and then you see it every time you open a new tab.

Time Blocks

Adapt the mindset of someone seeking mastery. Doing so requires not a sickening work ethic that ruins your diet and keeps you up all night working. But rather, a deep understanding of what’s truly important and effective towards reaching your goal. Then scheduling long, 2-5 hour time blocks to work on them each day and fiercely defending those time blocks.

The idea of the Maker’s Schedule and Manager’s Schedule by Paul Graham also appeared in the book which I found to be an extremely pragmatic approach to working. The idea isn’t complicated at all. There are two types of schedules:

The Manager Schedule is where you schedule in one-hour time blocks throughout the day to accomplish single tasks. This schedule is perfect for meetings, admin work, phone calls, and managerial work.

The Maker Schedule is the schedule of people who make things, such as designers, writers, and programmers. Typically, they prefer to use time in units of half a day at the very least.

When operating on a Maker’s Schedule, a meeting in the middle of your half-day time block can be a disaster. It can ruin your creativity by taking you out of your state of flow, or worse can prevent you from really starting or finishing your One Thing for the day.

I’ve since adopted a Maker’s Schedule for the mornings between 4:30 and 7:00. This time block is where I get the bulk of my writing and creative work done. The Manager’s Schedule takes up the rest of my day at work and when I get home I perform admin work for my writing like researching, editing, and publishing articles.

A Tale Of Two Brothers

One of my favorite stories from the book was an exchange between two brothers.

Alex Van Halen would go out each night and Eddie Van Halen would be in his room practicing lead guitar. Alex would come back many hours later from a party or visiting friends and find Eddie in the exact same spot he left him practicing guitar.

That short story is a really cool testament to something we all face which is Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO). What makes the story really cool is that even though Eddie Van Halen was likely experiencing the desire to want to go out and be like his brother he instead stayed true to his craft and kept working on his One Thing. This work ethic is likely what took him from being alone with his guitar on Saturday nights to selling out arena’s not too long after.

Building A Bunker

My final note on the idea of time blocking is I that loved Gary’s idea of “building a bunker.” The bunker you build is where you go to work on your One Thing with minimal or no distractions.

It has necessary elements like the tools you need to work. For me, it is my laptop or tablet. But it also includes things that you might otherwise be forced to leave to acquire in a time of need like a sweater if you get cold, a glass of water, snacks, headphones, pen and paper, your research materials, etc.

This bunker should be figuratively impenetrable when you are in the zone each day.

They even went as far to include a door hanger for your bunker that you can rip out of the book.

Challenge What’s Possible

How much did I make freelancing in 2017?

Think about how much effort it took to get there. If you doubled that effort and focused on the right One Thing each day could you make double the income?

Gary Keller says to double it again, then triple it, quadruple it, and keep going until the number scares you.

Is it possible? Can it be done?

The book also pushes you to find a coach or teacher in everything you do. Find someone who has done what you have set out to accomplish and learn as much as you can from them.

Asking The Right Questions

I’m a big fan of the Socratic method which in short is the disciplined practice of questioning our assumptions often so we can better determine if they are valid or not. Utilizing the Socratic method really stimulates critical thinking and can draw on some truly amazing realizations and even change the way we think and approach our learning experience.

Gary Keller’s book is riddled with really good questions that get your mind racing and debating itself. Voltaire said, “Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” This book has got me starting to make lists of excellent thought-provoking questions. Ones that push right through all the bullshit I feed myself, right past any excuses or limiting beliefs and gets down to the core of what I’m capable of doing and what I should be doing.

The One Thing Summary

To be honest, it is one of the best books I have read since first reading the 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss back in 2012. This isn’t a book that I’m going to read once and let it sit on the shelf. I can see myself reading it at least once a year. I’ve already recommended it to friends and

Buy your copy on Amazon. [no affiliate link]

What did you think of the One Thing?

Tell me in the comments below.

or we can discuss these two quotes I found really thought-provoking:

“Anyone who dreams of an uncommon life eventually discovers there is no choice but to seek an uncommon approach to living it.” – Gary Keller

“Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls– family, health, friends, integrity– are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.” – Gary Keller

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Pareto Principle: How Deconstructing Your Life Can 10x Your Output

The Pareto Principle

It all started with the Italian engineer, socialist, economist, political scientist, and philosopher: Vilfredo Pareto.

Photo of Vilifredo ParetoHe’s most famously known for the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule. Vilfredo first observed this phenomenon when he was performing an investigation into the distribution of income amongst economies and concluded that 80% of Italy’s total land had belonged to just 20% of the population.

While initially surprised by his findings, he soon was astounded to find that his conclusion was the same in all the nearby countries as well. This, of course, spilled over into his everyday life where he noticed this 80/20 rule applied to nearly everything. He even noted that just 20% of the pea pods in his garden produced 80% of the peas.

How can you start using the 80/20 rule in your everyday life?

The Pareto Principle can apply to every facet of life:

  • Your job
  • Your goals
  • Your hobbies
  • Your family
  • Your health

Pick an area of your life an ask the following questions:

 

  • What are the 20% of activities or individuals that are producing 80% of the results or positive emotional states that I desire?

 

 

  • What are the 20% of activities or individuals that are producing 80% of the failures, wheel-spinning, headaches, pain, and negative emotional states I want to rid myself of?

 

Here’s an example involving my writing:

My writing business can be both very rewarding and a real drag at times. Performing the 80/20 analysis and answering these questions showed me that 20% of the jobs I take on come from pitching other writers or cold pitching blogs with headlines.

These two activities take less than an hour to get a few pitches or pulse checks out and when awarded jobs these clients also happen to be the best clients. They pay more, are less needy, and more accommodating when I need further direction or information to complete the job.

Finding clients on UpWork, on the other hand, comes with clients that pay less, haggle with me, expect the moon, and are slow to communicate and pay. On top of that, they pay a lot less and UpWork takes a cut of my pay.

Further probing finds that 80% of my income this year came from pitching myself versus finding clients on UpWork.

Further digging found that roughly 80% of my headaches came from UpWork clients and they only accounted for 20% of my overall income. On the other hand, 80% of my income came from pitching myself and those clients provided me with only 20% of the headaches.

It’s pretty clear what I have to do. Ditch UpWork and double down on pitching myself.

The answers to these questions are what we should focus on changing in our lives. Put greater effort into that 20% that brings you the majority of your results. Chances are the other 80% of your efforts is either spinning your wheels, making you stressed, or just flat out unnecessary.

The 90/10 Rule, 95/5 Rule, 99/1 Rule, and so on

The 80/20 rule seems to be less of a rule and more of a guideline.

I say that because it almost always isn’t exactly 20% that gives you 80%. Furthermore, I find it fascinating to use it to analyze performance or to self-diagnose my current mental state.

Though it doesn’t stop there, you can also use the Pareto Principle as a tool to figure out your priority for the day.

Take the Pareto Principle to the extreme. What’s the 5%, or better yet, the 1% or one thing in each area of your life that produces 99% of your results? From there, your To-Do list can be transformed into what Gary Keller calls a Success List.

Success List from Gary Keller's book The One ThingThe success list is all about eliminating “multi-tasking” and being busy for the sake of being busy. But rather the success list is for finding that one thing, or 1%, that will give you 99% of the day’s results if you can cross it off.

 

How the Pareto Principle can eradicate limiting beliefs

Trying to fulfill all of our responsibilities and making time for our goals can be exhausting. But what if with a variation of the 99/1 rule we could reframe the time we have and still make incremental progress towards our goals.

As an example:

A limiting belief I have is that if I don’t make it to the gym that day, then the day is lost. I’ll just have to try again tomorrow. But, what if through an 80/20 or 99/1 analysis I figured out that 8 minutes of interval sprints and 8 sets of pull-ups could give me the full-body and cardiovascular workout I needed in 1/10th of the time my normal workouts take.

Why can’t I make time for a 15-20 minute workout anywhere in the world no matter what else is going on?

I have this idea of creating my to-do list for the day (complete with my One thing) and having a secondary column as my backup plan for when the day gets away from me. When other people interfere with my schedule or things inevitably take longer than expected I can fall back to my Plan B. Here’s an example to-do list:

To-do List:

Plan A: Grill steak and veggies for dinner

Plan B: Eat a Lean Cuisine or order a healthy item from a specific restaurant I drive past on my way home

 

Plan A: Write 500 words for an article due that night in the morning before I go to work

Plan B: On my way to work use Evernote’s audio note function to capture ideas and a rough outline for the article I have to write that evening

 

Plan A: Go to the gym after work for 1 hour full-body workout

Plan B: Sprints in my apartment parking lot followed by push-ups in the living room to failure

 

As you can see, the obvious choice is doing A. But when life gets in the way you can usually still make time for B. After all, what’s the alternative? What’s C? C is doing nothing. C is making no progress or worse backsliding and losing momentum.

At least plan B doesn’t break the chain. It keeps us focused on our end goal, and at the end of the day, you are usually happier for doing something.

Plan B could mean also getting creative with the time you have. You can start chunking activities to kill two birds with one stone.

Didn’t have time for a workout but promised your partner you would spend time with them? Go for a walk or a jog with them. Go to the gym with them instead. Find something active you can do together like rock climbing, swimming, or disc golf.

As you can see, the Pareto Principle has a wide array of uses and is a potent tool for getting the most out of your efforts.

 

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Battling Monkey Mind: How I Stay Organized & On Task

Everyone struggles with their monkey mind at some point in their life. For most of us it begins in school and if we aren’t careful can easily spill into our careers and every other aspect of life.

I was inspired to write this post based on Tim Urban’s blog post on Why Procrastinators Procrastinate and his TED talk, Inside The Mind Of A Master Procrastinator. They are essentially the same content, but I recommended reading then watching to get the full scope of how a procrastinators mind works.

Oddly enough, some of my best work has been produced from last-minute panic induced all-nighters. I can remember back to middle school and doing entire science fair projects the night before the science fair and still getting 1st or 2nd place. Or through college where I would have weeks or months to write something and I would knock out 10+ pages the very last day it was due and still get a B or an A.

I don’t say that to brag but rather to say that in the end, things usually work themselves out one way or another.

Regardless of things usually working out, it’s still an awful way to work. The added stress, the lack of sleep, and the poor diet that comes from throwing everything else aside really takes a toll after awhile.

This quote by another of my favorite writers, Anthony Bourdain, sums it up nicely:

“I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy” – Anthony Bourdain

Image result for anthony bourdain watch old movie smoke weed

Now that I am writing so much I have deadlines all the time. I was forced to come up with a more sustainable way to keep everything organized, flowing at a steady pace, and actually finishing the things I start. I’ve had to learn to contend with resistance and find a system that works for me.

Now that we have a baseline, I’m going to share what my routines, habits, and tools I have cobbled together to create a semi-functional system tobattling my monkey mind and accomplishing my goals.

Routines and Habits For Suppressing My Monkey Mind

Here’s what an average weekday looks like:

0445: Wake up

0500: Writing time block

0645: Get ready for work and take care of my dog

0730: Commute (podcasts or audiobooks usually)

0815: Meditate/Journal in my car before work

0830: Work

1200: Workout or do more writing

1300: Work

1700: Commute (music usually)

1800: Dinner

1830: Writing time block

19:30: Admin work

2000: Spend time with my wife (TV, reading, talking)

2100: Journal/Sleep

Depending on the day I will swap some of those Writing/Creative blocks for another workout, walking the dog, or going out to dinner with friends or family.

On the weekends I try to find larger writing blocks of time. Usually at least 4-6 hours a day and spend the rest of it with my wife or family and friends. I also attempt to push the majority of admin work, household chores, errands, etc. to the weekend so I can do it all lumped together.

This routine I found works the absolute best for me because my willpower is steadily zapped as the day progresses. My creative and content producing side is at its best in the mornings and towards and at the end of the day I tend to focus on revising, editing, and publishing, and taking some time for myself to recharge.

This routine of mine has been steadily evolving over the last couple years, but there’s X things that I have learned this year that have made a profound impact on my productivity, effectiveness, and overall mood:

  1. Meditation
  2. Journaling
  3. Time-blocking
  4. Fasting
  5. Weekly Review (GTD)
  6. Checklists & Templates
  7. Saying No

Meditation

10-minutes of Headspace every day. Usually in the morning before I go into work or before I begin a writing block. This simple daily practice has really helped me slow down and start to appreciate the life I have been given and focus on what is truly important to me.

I also use it as a way to reset before switching gears.

Going from work to writing? Meditate to unwind and switch gears.

Going from writing to family time? Meditate to stop my brain from thinking about work and business so I can be more present with my family.

Had a tough day at the office? Mediate to reset and restore.

Journaling

5-minutes in the morning and 5-minutes in the evening. As stated in a previous post, I use the 5-minute journal.

I planned on writing a longer post about journaling, so initially, I thought I would keep this section brief. However, I think most of what I would say in a 2,000+ word post can be summed up here in a few paragraphs.

Most people who really know me understand that I’m a Type A person. Which is defined as someone who is characterized by ambition, high energy, and competitiveness. Along with those (what I consider to be wonderful) characteristics comes a higher susceptibility to stress and heart disease.

How this relates to journaling is that I have noticed a profound impact on how I see the world when I regularly use my journal. It isn’t quite as dramatic as wearing rose colored glasses but for someone like me it’s likely the closest I will get without drugs. Here’s three quick points about the effect journaling has had on me:

1. Daily gratitude

This is the secret sauce to why journaling has become such an important part of my day. It makes me appreciate all the things I have going for me. It forces me to look on the brighter side of life for a moment.

It is exactly the reality check I need each morning before facing people who, as Marcus Aurelius so famously said are, “meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.” Instead, we must recognize the beauty of what’s good and right with the world in this moment.

2. Forgiving myself and others for not living up to my expectations

This also was huge for someone like me. Most of my friends, family, and my wife aren’t Type A like myself. Sometimes I get caught up thinking, “If I can do this why can’t they?” Which is the wrong answer, every time. Projecting my high expectations for myself onto other people will result in being let down and hurt feelings every time. Journaling helps me cut the bullshit and appreciate other people and myself more.

3. Daily reflection on what is working and what isn’t

This is a cool way for me to start catching patterns. I will notice that several days in a row something will be preventing me from seizing the day like I had planned. Then I can strategize and come up with clever solutions.

Time-blocking

Scheduling time to do my writing and fiercely protecting it has been a game changer for me. I used to brush off writing as a secondary activity. If someone asked if I had plans Tuesday night and I had a writing block planned I used to say no. I now realize that was a mistake. We should be fiercely guarding the time for our life’s pursuits. Time planned for ourselves is just as important, if not more important, then time we have planned for others. Treating it that way really helped me push through some ruts and plateaus this year.

Fasting

The go-to choice for meeting up with friends, family, or going out with your significant other has all but become one option: going out to eat.

Practicing self-restraint all the time is exhausting. This year I have really started making fasting a bigger part of my daily schedule. Most weekdays I fast 24 hours, only eating at dinner time. The weekends and special occasions are usually when I dip into a second meal of the day.

I find that fasting not only helps my waistline but my focus also. It takes less willpower to simply not eat versus trying to eat the healthy option or limiting my portions. That and I always feel tired or lethargic after a meal. Nothing gets my monkey mind thrashing about worse than the rollercoaster of sugar levels rising and falling abruptly. I’d sooner skip a meal to stay on task then fall into a food induced coma.

Weekly Review

This little gem I picked up from David Allen and his Getting Things Done (GTD) methodology. Each week, usually Saturday morning I take some time to go through all facets of my life and do sort of a pulse check.

  • How much closer am I to my goals this week?
  • What this week isn’t working or is distracting me?
  • What this week is working and I should sustain?
  • What can I still get done this weekend?
  • What do I plan to accomplish next week?

I also use that time to clear out all my different inboxes. My email, my Evernote, my physical mailbox, etc. It helps me clear my mind of all the clutter so I can better focus on my One Thing.

Checklists & Templates

Reducing cognitive loads has become very important to me. I don’t want to bog my mind down by trying to remember too much, so I have started to rely on checklists and templates for mundane or repetitive tasks. A lot of this is work related so I won’t bore you with it.

I will say that if you aren’t using checklists or templates each day you are doing yourself a disservice. You are using up a lot of your finite willpower on these tasks.

How many times have you sent the same kind of email? Make it a template.

How many times have you done that repetitive task that has dozens of steps to remember? Make a checklist.

The beauty of the checklist/template is that you’re much less likely to make mistakes. In a world plagued by distractions, it is becoming ever harder to get into a flow or to stay in one. I find I make most of my mistakes when I have been distracted mid-task. I don’t remember where I left off and ended up skipping over some important detail. Checklists are perfect for eradicating this problem.

Another benefit of checklists and templates is that you can outsource your work. As your business or work grows, you can hand things off to an assistant or third-party with a checklist or series of templates. This way the quality of your work doesn’t suffer and you can focus on more important tasks.

Saying No

Reaching goals or fulfilling lifelong dreams are easily sidetracked by the requests of the world. Dinners, lunches, grabbing a coffee, meetings, concerts, conferences, double dates, weddings, game nights, road trips, vacations, etc., etc.

Sure, they all can be a lot of fun and really fulfilling, but I often find myself over calendered and overcommitted. Usually, these commitments fall at the worst possible times. Near a deadline, a time of added stress, or when I’d simply rather be doing something else.

This is where learning to say no has become so important to accomplishing my goals.

Tim Ferriss’s new book, Tribe of Mentors, is riddled with examples of what to decline and how to say no. My favorite by far is Kevin Kelly’s where he says,

“Whenever I am trying to decide whether to accept an invitation, I just pretend it is going to happen tomorrow morning. It is easy to say yes to something happening six months from now, but it has to be super fantastic to get me to go tomorrow morning.”

Also on a podcast (probably Tim’s again), I heard this little gem:

When presented with a request or deciding whether or not to do something ask yourself on a scale of 1-10 how excited you are about. The trick though, is you cannot say 7. The number 7 is a cop out. The easy way out.

An 8 is resoundingly a hell yes and a 6 is without a doubt a hell no. The choice is then clear.

Capturing Thoughts, Staying Organized, and Tools I Use Daily

Last but not least, I wanted to share a roundup of all the tools I use every day and a short note on how I use each one. They all have a special place and purpose to capturing random ideas, thoughts, to-dos, commitments, and gems from books, podcasts, and YouTube videos. 

The number one thing to stave off my monkey mind is to jot down ideas and thoughts immediately. If I let them fester or go unchecked then before I know it I am down a rabbit hole or vigourously working on tasks and projects I shouldn’t be. If I write them down then my monkey mind is temporatily satisfied with the notion that I may actually revisit them later.

Google Inbox – This is where most items are captured or flow in from. If you aren’t familiar with Google Inbox, it is the fully featured, more attractive version of Gmail. While it has many great features, my favorite by far is the ability to snooze emails. So if something arrives that isn’t relevant to my current place or time then I can snooze it. This essentially tucks the email away until a later time and date of my choosing when I am likely more capable to address it.

Google Inbox is great for capturing short-term ideas and holding onto links to things I’m interested in. Once a week I go through and attempt to hit Inbox Zero. This typically involves archiving finished or unnecessary items, filing references away in my commonplace book, or transferring the items over to Evernote or Trello where they are stored as action items for later.

Google Calendar – For hard dates and keeping track of what bills are due when.

Evernote – The tool I have abandoned several times and keep coming back to. Evernote is a robust note collection tool that stores just about everything from book ideas, book and podcast notes, articles ideas, movies and shows I’d like to watch, business ideas, recipes, and everything in between. Between Google Docs and Evernote, I find myself repeatedly referencing materials and expanding upon thoughts and ideas.

I have my Evernote notebooks separated into the following categories Healthy, Wealthy, Wise, Writing, and Inbox.

  • Healthy = Recipes, workouts, and other health-related items.
  • Wealthy = Budget, notes regarding bills, or notes from calls or transactions made.
  • Wise = Notes from reading books and articles, watching YouTube videos, or listening to podcasts. It will also have quotes and reference materials.
  • Writing = Article ideas, aritcle outlines, links and other research items, a swipe file, and notes on how to get better at my craft.
  • Inbox = Everything I have yet to categorize, delete, or transfer to Trello.

Trello – My project management software of choice. I’ve tried everything from Basecamp, Asana, Todoist, and more but nothing compares to the Kanban cards in Trello. I use the GTD Approach To Maximizing Productivity With Trello which involves a column for my Inbox, Projects, Waiting, In Progress, and Complete. I have Trello Boards for business, for writing, for large articles, and one for my personal to-dos.

Momentum Dashboard on Google Chrome – Each day I take a few minutes to look through Trello and figure out what my top priority is for the day. What’s the One Thing that I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

Then I put that as my priority goal in my Momentum dashboard.

Then it’s time to get to work… without my monkey mind.

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Have You Tested Your Pot Of Gold?

What’s at the end of your proverbial rainbow?

Everyone thinks about retirement from time to time, but how many of us have actually gone and tested that pot of gold we so longingly seek?

Very few I imagine. I know I haven’t.

As I approach the ripe age of 30, I have this nagging thought that I should have everything figured out by now. I should know what I want to be when I grow up, a clear plan to get there, and what my end goal even looks like.

Since you’re reading this, you can probably surmise that I want to be a writer. Like you I want to travel the world. But I haven’t done nearly as much traveling or writing as I would like. Is It really what I want to do when it’s all said and done? If so, why haven’t I tested it more?

How hard would it be to spend a couple of weeks a year getting lost in Europe, or visiting friends in Asia or South America? All while lugging my tablet around and writing articles or working on a novel. Not terribly difficult I’d imagine. But I tell myself I can’t afford it, it’s too risky, or I should focus on my career, etc, etc. I rattle off dozens of excuses. 

With that in mind, I am writing this article on how we can all test our pot of gold.

What Is Your Pot Of Gold?

It seems like a simple enough question. I think we all have ideas, but few people put the pen to pad and sketch out precisely what retirement entails. With that in mind I came up with a few questions to answer:

  • Where will you live?
  • What will you do every day?
  • Who’s there with you?
  • How much money will you need?
  • How can you test it?

The answer to these questions can be simple, but I think the more specific they are the easier it would be to test.

As an example:

Living somewhere near the coast. Not directly on the water because that would be too expensive and would likely be affected too much by hurricanes and flooding. Something within a 45-minute to 2-hour drive to the beach would be ideal. Likely Texas but it’s good to be open to new possibilities. Days are spent writing for leisure, working out, reading at the beach, cooking, visiting friends, watching old movies, and the occasional splurge or trip like a brewery tour, going to NASA, or a trip into Mexico or Central America. This lifestyle would likely cost $6,000 a month to be truly comfortable. Assuming major purchases like owning a home are paid off and any responsibilities regarding children have been taken care of.

So here’s the big question: How Do I Test It?

Mini Retirements And Testing Your Pot Of Gold

So you have a better idea of where you will live, what you will do, and how much money you’ll need. Now we need to find opportunities to test it.

There are several potential routes I see for testing our retirement plans:

1. Vacation Testing

Vacation testing is the safest and most cost-effective solution to testing our pot of gold. One that is within reach of most middle-class citizens. According to a study performed by the Center for Economic Policy Research titled No-Vacation Nation Revisited, the average days of paid vacation received is ten days.

While ten days isn’t exactly ideal for testing our pot of gold, it can be a great start. Usually, on vacation, you are still getting settled the first few days. Towards the end of the week, you are really in a groove and closer to 9-10 days you are either comfortable or flat out ready to go home. That little sweet spot can tell you a lot about testing your pot of gold.

Save up the equivalent amount of money you calculated would be comfortable. Plus the cost of getting there and your lodging. Ideally, you would get an AirBnB or some equivalent to better replicate the feeling of being retired in a home versus a hotel. Then spend your days, not as you would on vacation but merely doing all the things you would do in retirement. Do virtually everything you would do right now if you had little to no responsibilities or obligations.

If it turns out that life is exactly as you imagined it, then you can start chipping away at making it a reality. Start saving, starting making career moves, and maybe even think about how you can relocate sooner to get a jumpstart on reaching your pot of gold.

If that pot of gold isn’t as deep and shiny as you imagine then perhaps it is time to reflect and revisit those pot of gold questions above. And repeat until you get the desried results.

2. Mini-Retirements

Mini-retirements are long-term sabbaticals from your normal life and career to pursue happiness and passions to their fullest extent for as long as you can. We aren’t talking PTO or vacation days but months, sometimes even years of living out your dreams.

Mini-retirements are without a doubt a step up from vacation testing. They require the opposing forces of self-restraint and an element of spontaneity.

Maybe you don’t live as lavish a lifestyle, maybe you earn a little less, and maybe you don’t own the house or car of your dreams. But you get the gift of greater freedom in your golden years.

Here’s a graphic depicting normal retirement in your 60’s or 70’s vs mini retirements?

mini-retirement
Courtesy of Bren on the Road
miniretirements
Courtesy of Bren On The Road

 

As you can see, you trickle little mini-retirements throughout your entire life.

Rather than working through your golden years, you work for a few years, live modestly, keep overhead costs in check, and save up as much money as you can.  Then you take a mini-retirement.

The tricky part is cutting the cord on your old life. Yes, you need to quit your job. Walk away completely. Tell your superiors or partners about your mini-retirement plans and take that leap. This mini retirement can take several months to even a couple of years. Along the way, it is best to find a way to make money doing it. Your savings can supplement your income while you are getting started. If you time it right you can move out of your current residence and put any non-essential belongings in storage or with family and try to cut the costs down as much as you can.

Use the mini-retirement to fulfill a fantasy, follow a dream, accomplish a goal, or whatever moves you.

Want to start your own yoga studio? Teach yoga full-time.

Want to start your own adventure travel company? Get a job at a travel agency and be a guide on different vacation excursions.

Want to own your own restaurant? Go work in one. Work your way up from dishwasher, to line cook, sous chef, and maybe even chef. Get the full experience.

Write that novel. Sail around the world. Take an acting class or work on a vineyard.

Test out that pot of gold. Pursue your dreams. See if they live up to the hype and expectations or if it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

If they are, then find a way to stay. If not, go back to work.

But Wait, Isn’t Job Hopping A Bad Idea?

There are studies going around falsely stating that millennials job-hop more than our predecessors. One notable study making the rounds is a LinkedIn study. That study is using data only from LinkedIn that is skewed by Gen X’rs and Baby Boomers only showing recent or relevant job history and not all the job hopping they did in their 20’s and 30’s. In fact, a Bureau of Labor Statistics report shows that Baby Boomers job hopped in their 20’s just as frequently as millennials do now.

Millennials shouldn’t feel bad for job hopping. Doing so allows us to trudge into higher paying (nearly 8-10% higher) and more satisfying careers. Staying longer than two years can actually cause us to get paid on average 50% less or more over a lifetime. That’s because on average an employee can only expect a 3% raise annually when they stick with the same company. Keep in mind that the annual inflation rate is typically between 1.3 to 1.8 percent. So it could only really be a 1-2% increase in salary.

Don’t feel guilty about job hopping. It’s the only way we get the opportunity to find better work cultures that fit us and along the way gain some much-needed perspective on what we truly want out of our careers.

3. Semi-Retiring

I don’t want to marginalize the purpose of work. I don’t think humans are truly happy until we find work that makes us feel important and useful.

A complete retirement at a young or younger age is entirely possible but unlikely to keep us feeling useful or happy. I would get so sick of laying on the beach all day and doing nothing productive. It’s the periods of intense productivity and the series of failures and accomplishments that make vacation and retirement so attractive and worthwhile.

What’s more reasonable is retiring from the corporate life. Retiring from the grind.

Not having to deal with commutes, office politics, and having to get permission to take a little trip or just have time to work on other projects. In short, finding a way to break the shackles of corporate life and “retiring” to a life where you can simply work less. Or perhaps work more but instead you could be doing something you are actually passionate about.

The most likely scenarios here are:

  • Remote work – This could be negotiated with your current job, or you can find a new job that only requires a laptop, a phone, and an internet connection. Then you can work from anywhere in the world. Then it is just about optimizing your time so you can live the lifestyle you desire.
  • Creating passive income streams – The two that come to mind are investing in real estate (renting out the house(s) you own or putting them up as AirBnB or vacation rentals) and creating a drop shipping or ecommerce store. Both take a lot of investment and work up front but can create steady, predictable income streams so you can pursue your new life with minimal ongoing effort.
  • Freelance creative work – If you take the time to learn to write, learn graphic design, learn to code, etc, then you can charge top dollar on sites like UpWork, Fiverr, and even pitch your services to the top companies around the world. This gives you complete control over how much money you make and what projects you want to work on.

All of these scenarios result in a life with 10x more freedom than working in a cubicle each day and always working for the weekend. They all also give you the opportunity to test your pot of gold and get a sense of what retirement really looks like.

The reason most people don’t follow this route is that it is a lot of work up front. However, if you want to live an extraordinary life, then you have to give up a normal one.

Wrapping Up

This post is a lot to take in all at once. In truth, I am still digesting it. I don’t know that I will ever be done writing it.

It is a topic that is always on my mind. One that changes from year to year. Yet, the same undertones are still there. Such as:

  • I don’t want to commute to work longer than I have to
  • I don’t want to work in a corporate setting forever
  • I don’t want to wait until I am old, in pain, and too tired to enjoy my pot of gold
  • I want to own my own business and have greater control over the amount of money I can make
  • I want the freedom to travel or switch my life’s work with less fear and uncertainty

In short, I’m ready to test my pot of gold.

The sooner we know where we are going the sooner we can figure out the best route to get there.

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Overcoming Your Inner Critic

There’s something special about seeing a fat person running.

I don’t say that to be funny or derogatory either. There’s something inspiring to me about seeing someone clearly overweight out in the world trying to better themselves. In a country rampant with obesity I believe we see this special sight less and less.

Heat map of adult obesity in the United States

With the advent of social media more and more people have a voice. This means truly great lesser known people have a voice to spread their wisdom and positive attitude. It also means garbage people (no offense to trash collectors) have a voice to spread their hate and bigotry.

One negative impact I see on the rise is fat shaming. Not to say being overweight is healthy or should be glamorized but in the past few years, we have seen the rise of people posting pictures or videos of overweight people at the gym or out running (unbeknownst to them) and ridiculing them for doing so. This has rightfully created gym anxiety for many people which if you click that last link or look around you’ll find countless articles and videos about it.

People are afraid of going to the gym or getting out in the world to go for a walk or jog because they fear people will criticize or make fun of them. Maybe they are afraid of looking stupid because they are learning. Or perhaps they fear being made fun of because of the way they look. No matter the reason this spike in external forces of criticism has definitely given way to a rise of internal criticism as well.

People are afraid to do things. Say the wrong things. Put themselves out there. In fact, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting more than 40 million adults every year.

I use fat shaming and gym anxiety as an example many people can understand or even relate to at some point in their life. However, this is just one area of life where it’s easy to let our inner critic hold us hostage. We all have it. Some more than others. That little voice that tells you you’re not good looking enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not qualified to teach this or talk about ‘X’ topic.

Hell, I have it right now while writing this article. Thoughts of “who I am to write this article?” Or “Why would anyone care what I think?”

Which is in part why I am writing this article and why I chose for it to be my second article (really my first) on this blog. I am writing this because I want to write about things that interest me, might interest you (whoever you are), and most of the time because it affects me directly.

That’s right. I struggle with my inner critic. Quite often in fact.

So after that lengthy intro now I am going to get into the meat of this article which is a “How To” guide for overcoming your inner critic.

Defining Inner Critic

Wikipedia describes the inner critic, or critical inner voice, as a concept used in popular psychology to refer to a sub-personality that judges and demeans a person. The inner critic is typically experienced as an inner voice attacking a person, saying that they are wrong, bad, inadequate, guilty, worthless, and so on.

These negative experiences over an extended period of time produce feelings of low self-esteem, shame, deficiency, and even depression.

Writing this article, I set out to defeat my inner critic or at the very least learn to silence it more often. Along the way I found the following three approaches to be helpful:

1. Daily Meditation

Meditation has been something I have dabbled in for many years. I would do it for a few days or weeks then not do it for months.  Recently I started to take it more seriously. I do it every day pretty religiously. The results have been nothing short of amazing for me. I meditate for 10 minutes each morning typically before I go into work or shortly after my workout.

While it may seem to be an unusual practice to most, it has become much more mainstream in the past several years. In fact, Silicon Valley and the tech startup scene has become obsessed with meditation and its long list of benefits such as:

  • Lowering our cortisol levels to combat stress
  • Enhancements to our ability to focus
  • Decrease in anxiety and depression

In the book Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss, he interviews over 200 executives, leaders, and other world-class performers and found that over 80% had some form of guided mindfulness practice.

My favorite meditation technique that I have learned so far to help battle my inner critic is called noting. When meditating, or even going about your day, you often find your mind wander off and start thinking. Sometimes it’s pleasant thoughts, but often they can be negative. No matter what you are thinking, they are just thoughts.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Noting helps you start labeling these distractions as thinking or feeling. As simple as it sounds, it really helps me realize just how often my mind wanders off and at the same time gives less weight to the opinion or voice of my inner critic. The Noting Technique, in theory, is very simple. However,  making it a daily habit can be a bit more challenging.

I use an app on my phone called Headspace where you can start for free with a “Take 10” session which are ten free days that introduce meditation. I have since upgraded to the paid version which gives you a lot more freedom and functionality to explore other types of meditation or tackle specific topics. The practice is easy because all you do is hit play on the app, sit in a comfortable chair with your headphones in, and listen to Andy guide you through your ten-minute session. Here’s a two-minute video explaining how Headspace works:

If you’re interested here is the link for iOS and here is the link for Android to try it yourself. Also, if you are going to upgrade to the paid version make sure you look around for a promo code. They almost always have one running.

2. Mindfulness Through Daily Journaling

While there are countless writing prompts for challenging your inner critic through journaling and writing I found a more simple approach:

The Five Minute Journal

In short, the Five Minute Journal is a morning and nightly ritual where you take 5 minutes or less and fill out the following journal pages.

 

While I find all of the journal prompts useful, the one that brings about the greatest introspection is the section about gratefulness.

Each morning I am forced to think of 3 things I am grateful for. Some mornings this flows naturally and some mornings I have to really think (mostly because I want to be original and not too repetitive). This simple act of taking a few moments to realize just how great my life really is each morning does wonders for silencing negative self-talk.

I’m not getting shot at today, I’m not skipping meals because I can’t afford groceries, I have a roof over my head, the love of my wife, my friends, my family, my dog. Life is good and my trivial self-talk isn’t worth entertaining today.

I highly recommend building a morning journaling habit that includes gratitude.

3. Looking To Others For Inspiration

My inner critic tends to show up even more when I am taking on a task that’s outside my skill set or if I’m stepping out of my comfort zone.

Overcoming your inner critic can sometimes be as simple as knowing what you are about to do is even in the realm of possibility. Sure athletes, savants, and those outliers can do what you’ve set out to do but can you do it?

These moments when I need an extra boost I often find myself turning to others successes for inspiration. Some people’s stories can be flat out excuse eliminators.

Mountain Climbers

Like Kyle Maynard, the quadruple amputee who basically army crawled the nearly 20,000-foot climb up Mt. Kilimanjaro. Or Jordan Romero, the 13-year-old kid who became the youngest climber to reach the top of Mount Everest. Or yet again, Min Bahadur who at the age of 76 became the oldest climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest also. In fact, the number of people who have climbed Mount Everest since Sir Edmund Hillary first reached its summit in 1953 has recently reached 4,000 people. The top of Everest looks like this now:

Now I may not be ready to tackle my first mountain climb just yet, but knowing these people can do it gives me hope and inspiration that I could do it also. But maybe climbing a mountain isn’t on your list of to-dos. My point is that you can find inspiration in others in just about every goal or task you are about to take on:

Writing A Novel

Jake Marcionette – At only 12 years old he becomes the youngest New York Times bestselling author.

Oldest Person to Run A Marathon

Harriette Thompson – At the young age of 92 years and 93 days became the oldest women to ever finish a marathon.

Losing 300 pounds

Rob Cooper who once weighed 475 pounds and lost 300 pounds in 2 years. That’s 150 pounds a year! Hearing that makes the 20 pounds I want to lose not sound so bad.

The internet is riddled with prime examples of people who have likely overcome much more difficult obstacles than you or I have. I find it to be a gold mine when I’m feeling anxious or overwhelmed about my goals or simply taking on what life throws at me.

If you tend to be overly critical of yourself, just know that you are not alone. Many, if not most people experience self-doubt and have harsh reflections about themselves. The good news is you don’t have to keep entertaining these thoughts.

My hope is that the strategies I’ve outlined above such as meditation, journaling, and looking to others may help you as they’ve helped me.

These days my inner critic is becoming much less like an overzealous friend who delivers never-ending criticism without considering my feelings and more like a finely tuned curator who delivers genuinely constructive criticism. One who, similar to an inspiring mentor, urges me to do my best and not to accept anything less.